Relax!

Today while watching my daughter do handsprings and cartwheels at her gymnastics class, I got a text from her mother, my ex-wife, inquiring if she could see her later on. I had already planned a full day of gymnastics, shopping and ultimately the San Antonio BBQ Contest that was held at SeaWorld… not a bad daddy-daughter date. As I read the text, I found myself getting mad at her inquiry- the audacity of a mother wanting to see her child whom she loves! Many thoughts angrily, selfishly ran through my mind:

We didn’t plan this and this is MY day,

MY girl will be upset when her mother has to leave.

She’s trying to interfere with MY right as the primary parent.

At that moment of frustration, I looked out at my daughter through the glass. She spotted me observing her doing a somersault, smiled ear-to-ear and waved at me with a look of love that only the heart of an innocent, pure four-year-old could possess. At that moment I realized that even though I don’t always want to be around her mother, that had nothing to do with what my little girl might enjoy. I was taking myself too seriously. What I wanted and decided on the situation could possibly be the difference between our daughter having a good time or a great time.


So often we do things based on OUR desires with no regard for the impact it will have on those we love or even possibly the stranger in the car next to us. Sometimes we need to use the other part of our brains to step back and observe the situation and ourselves as if through glass just as I watched my daughter in gymnastics today. Ask yourself:

Am I being an prick?

Do I deserve to do whatever I want with no regard for it's impact on others?

Will I TRULY benefit from my selfishness?

Brace yourselves folks, because I’m going to tell you something that your parents, wife, kids, minister, uncles, aunts, grandparents, friends, creepy guy down the hall, co-worker with halitosis, barber, delicatessen, tailor, and even the guy who sold you weed in the 11th grade will never tell you:

YOU’RE NOT SPECIAL! From an existential perspective, you are nothing but water, chemicals and a soul and all but the last part won’t even exist in 100 years from now. From a universal standing, we're nothing but a cluster of atoms just like everything else in existence. This puts you literally equal to dogpoo.

Bad news: If Homer, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, or Paul didn’t write about you, you’re done!

The good news: If Homer, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, or Paul didn’t write about you and no one takes you seriously, then why should you? Relax!


I got over myself and ended up deciding to share my afternoon with my ex-wife for the sake of our daughter and her happiness. As a result, our daughter was all smiles as the three of us walked, talked, laughed, ate great BBQ and even got to tour part of SeaWorld and feed the dolphins and watch the sharks! Guess what? I LET MYSELF HAVE FUN!
By making the decision to let go, not be a martyr and cast my cares into the smoky air of the festival, I actually became special to somebody after all- My daughter.



Good Talk.